All I want for Christmas

Once upon a time, Christmas was a day to spend with family and friends. Now, it has become a holiday filled with greedy bastards looking for a deal. 

Corporations have made us consumer driven. Our vision is so blurred with concern about extravagant gifts that we can’t focus on what really matters.

All I want for Christmas is to spend time with my fiance, Adam. That would make me the happiest woman on Earth.

Since Adam left in October for a job as a diesel mechanic in Colton, Ca. with International, I have seen him three times. It’s better than not at all. 

But, every time I have to drop him off at the airport to go back, I feel my heart rip into pieces. 

My stomach hurts. 

I try not to cry until I’m driving away so that he can’t see the pain in my eyes.

I know it’s pathetic, but I’ve never had to do this. 

I have one more semester of school. That is the only thing keeping me in Sacramento. 

I can’t give up now. I won’t.

Plus, my mom and dad would kill me. 

Adam and I have a bond that I’ve never had with anyone else. He is my best friend. 

He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want him to be the last person I see before I go to bed and the first person I see in the morning. 

For two years, the butterflies in my stomach have not gone away. Just the way he smiles at me makes them go crazy. 

If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

If I had to pick something for Christmas, it would be a time machine. I would fast-forward to our wedding day, on top of the Delta King Riverboat, decorated in emerald green and white carnations. I love carnations because they can be any color you want.

I can’t wait for this part of our lives to be over. I want to start living my life. I want to get a job that actually has to do with Journalism.

Working in retail is not my goal in life. It helps pay the bills for now. But, I will never understand how people can be so rude to a complete stranger. 

I’ve had a coupon thrown at me because it had expired. My response was “Wow. Seriously?”

School is like Limbo, awaiting your fate. It feels like a never ending journey.

I would love a fast-forward button. Unfortunately, this is unrealistic. 

I could settle for a Christmas with just the two of us. 

Adam wants to teach me to Snowboard. Maybe, a getaway to Lake Tahoe. 

But, again, no such luck. 

I will have to share my time with him. Christmas Eve will be spent with my family in Sacramento. Christmas will be spent with his family in Newark. Then, he will go back to Colton, once again.

Leaving me utterly pathetic, once again.

Bah Humbug. 

My Thanksgiving

It started with a ring.

My boyfriend, Adam, of two years moved in October to Colton, Ca. to become a diesel mechanic for International.

I am extremely proud of him, but it has come with a price. Since I will not be graduating until Spring 2010 from Sac State, our relationship has turned long-distance. 

It’s hard because we have been joined at the hip since we started dating. We moved in together after three months. But, thanks to texting, phone calls, and Skype, long-distance hasn’t been too bad of a journey.

We have talked about marriage off and on. But, it has always been discussed as something I would have to wait for until I move down there to be with him. 

On Wednesday, that plan slightly changed.

Adam came home early Wednesday morning to spend time with me before we had to drive Thanksgiving morning to his parents’ house. 

My parents skipped town with my brother and their two pugs to Lake Tahoe for the week.

I had to work that day, but we had plans to go out to dinner that night.

We went to Joe’s Crab Shack in Old Sac, where we had our first date. Afterwards, he asked me if I wanted to go on a walk. I said, “I’d love to”.

We walked to the bridge beside the restaurant. As we looked out towards the water, there was a sea lion barking down at the dock. 

I was getting cold. So, we started to walk back to the car. As we were holding hands, he asked me to hold on a minute. I turned around to find him on one knee, asking me to marry him. 

I said, “Yes”.

Now, I have to tell you that my family is very small, organized and quiet. My mom is the organizer and my dad is the scheduler. If we are supposed to leave at a certain time and you forgot something, too bad. There is no way my father is waiting one second over his schedule for you to pee. 

Adam’s family is big, loud, and very last-minute. It takes a million years to leave the house because there is always something to add to the list of things needed to go anywhere. 

At first it drives you nuts, but once you take step back it’s hilarious to watch.

Thanksgiving morning, Adam and I drove to his parents’ house in Newark, Ca. The Thanksgiving celebration was held at his cousin’s, Chris, house. 

We ended up leaving his parents’ house with his brother, Alex, because, like always, their dad was taking too long to leave. 

Everyone was very excited about the engagement. Alex and his dad made a speech at dinner, welcoming me officially into the family. It was very sweet.

Adam’s grandmother is from Germany and lived through World War II. She currently suffers though dementia. She is very soft spoken and takes a while to finish a sentence. 

Sometimes she goes from one subject to another without remembering the first conversation and then repeats herself. 

She stared out the day detached from her surroundings. But, towards the end of the night, she started to interact and become more lucid. 

She noticed a picture on the mantel of her and her late husband. She took the photo, sat down beside me on a love seat, held my hand, and described the setting in San Jose. She told me she was pregnant with her daughter, Susie. 

She told me she was a teacher in Germany. It was clear as day for her.

Susie explained to her that Adam and I were getting married. She looked at me, still holding my hand, and said, “Married. You really feel it in here”,while placing her hand on her chest.

I wanted to cry. I looked into her eyes and told her, “Yes”.

Adam and I stayed at his parents’ until Saturday morning and returned home to Sacramento. That night, we went to dinner at The Olive Garden with my parents, my brother, Kurt, and my best friend, Kim, to celebrate the engagement. 

Kim and Kurt stayed with us, while my parents returned home to Yuba City. In the excitement, Kim started to help me plan for the wedding, while Kurt watched a movie with Adam.

The wedding is planned for June 11, 2011. It gives me at least a year to finalize everything after I move down to Colton, post graduation.

On Sunday, I took Adam to the airport. It is a short goodbye. I will see him next weekend for his other grandmother’s 80th birthday party.

It ended with an empty apartment.